Recently I received an e-mail from a sister struggling with peoples reaction to her hijab and I wanted to share the question & response with you all so that inshaAllah if anyone else is in a similar situation this will help.
Salaam. I’m 22 years old peruvian girl & engaged to a Muslim man. Here in my country girls don’t wear hijaab, and when I started use it people made fun of me, and calling me names. I really luv wear hijaab 😀 but sometimes I can’t help feel sad, and also my fiance is sad about this. Can u give me some advice plss? God bless u Ameen
Walaykum assalaam sister A,
Apologies for the late reply, I hope you are in the best of health & Imaan inshaAllah.
The advice I would give you in this situation is to find solace in Allah swt, ask for Allah to give you the strength to deal with these people, pray to Allah, read the Quran and read about the struggles the female companions of the Prophet pbuh and other women in Islamic history went through and how they overcame their struggles. InshaAllah you also need to believe in yourself and have confidence, don’t show people that they are getting to you.
Remember that you are not wearing the hijab for people but you are wearing it to make Allah happy, and because it represents you as a Muslim, as a sister to billions of people across the world. People always make fun of things that they don’t understand, your hijab will give people the opportunity to ask you questions and that will give you a chance to give dawah (speak about Islam).
As a woman in hijab you are an ambassador of Islam, you represent all of us so stay strong and stay true to who you are and what you believe in. InshaAllah people will see that you can do everything they can do, but you demand for people to respect you and listen to what you have to say rather than what you look like.
The messenger Muhammad (saw) said: ‘Islaam came as something strange; and it will return as something strange. Paradise is for those who are seen as strangers.’
The fact that people see your hijab as strange is nothing new, Islam has and always will be strange to people because we don’t follow what is norm in the society we’re living in, but we follow what Allah has ordained.
Imagine all the rewards you will be getting for struggling with these people and still sticking to what Allah commanded you to do. I hope the image of Jannah also gives you some strength to get through these situations.
“…Bear with patience whatever befalls you….” (Qur’an 31:17) and “Be not sad, surely Allah is with us.” (Qur’an 9:40)
Our Prophet (pbuh) said: “Verily, if Allah loves a people, He makes them go through trials. Whoever is satisfied, for him is contentment, and whoever is angry upon him is wrath.” [Tirmidhi]
Being sad is not encouraged in Islam
“So do not become weak, nor be sad…” (Qur’an 3:139)
“And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot.” (Qur’an 16:127)
Sadness prevents one from action instead of compelling one towards it. The heart does not benefit through grief. The most beloved thing to the devil is to hinder the worshipper in the path of Allah. The Muslim must repel sadness and fight in any way that is permissible in Islam.
Verily, with hardship, there is relief
“Verily, with hardship there is relief” (Qur’an 94:6)
“Perhaps Allah may bring victory or a decision according to His Will.” (Qur’an 5:52)
Prophet Ibrahim (‘alayhissalam) did not feel its heat because of the help he received from Allah. “We (Allah) said : O’ fire! Be you coolness and safety for Ibrahim.” (Qur’an 21:69)
The sea would not drown Prophet Moses (‘alayhissalaam) because he uttered in confident, strong and truthful manner: “Nay verily! With me is my Lord, He will guide me.” (Qur’an 26:62)
And the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas (radiyallahu ‘anhu): “..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity… And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship.” [Tirmidhi]
Accept life as it is
If you read the Qur’an you will see that all the Prophets went through trials and tribulations. Life is a test so let us learn from the best examples of our Prophets. “Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty, ailments and were shaken.” (Qur’an 2:214)
We should know that if we are pleased with our Lord, He will be pleased with us. And if you are pleased with your Lord no matter what the situation is, then you will find that you have earned your Lord’s pleasure. On the other hand, there are hypocrites whom Allah rejects their deeds. They are displeased with what Allah sends down and they hate seeking His pleasure; thus their deeds are performed in vain.
Your fiance should not be sad, he should be very proud of you and happy that you are saving your beauty for him, it should make him love you more because he can see the struggle you are going through in order to make sure that he is the only man that can appreciate your beauty in its entirety. So sister please don’t feel sad because at the end of the day it’s hard, this is your struggle but Allah will be happy with you for your perseverance and InshaAllah you will be rewarded immensely.
I hope this helped.
Take care inshaAllah.